


in too deep

by 127ghouls



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Character Death, Titanic!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 15:30:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14523669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/127ghouls/pseuds/127ghouls
Summary: Would you believe a peasant’s luck that came through from a single flick of wrist, fingers that caressed old cards and jingled a few coins?It was as easy as it seemed, and with a green ticket to paradise, Kai rushed past a crowd of elites with only a dirty rucksack of clothes laced with the lowest of poverty and hope to see a future at the end of the vast, blue sea.





	in too deep

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm back! LMAO. I watched Titanic again so I had this really strong urge to write a story heavily based on the movie. Don't worry, it's Titanic with all that sinking BUT minus the Jack died part. I hate that. 
> 
> PS. I don't know stuff about ships. I must have committed mistakes here and there, little information and grammatical errors, spelling errors, and other kind of errors fshkfh. It might seem rushed as well but that's how I intended the story to go. 
> 
> Anyway! It would be nice if you leave a comment uwu enjoy reading!
> 
>  

“Are you fucking kidding me? Two tens and three aces? Bloody hell! Must be a trick from your calloused hands, you scoundrel!” Alistair slammed the cards down the table and spat, clearly upset with the combination he withdrew. Next to him is his companion Devon who sighed and smacked the back of Alistair’s head. “Stop talking, will you? ‘Tis the reason we don’t win a game, you don’t really know shit!”

“These lads are demons, look at those dirty hands; those are the evidences of black magic! We’ve been losing thrice in a row, no more coins in our pockets, Devon! And the ship’s about to leave!” The pair of old men continued to bicker as Kai rolled his eyes and elbowed Johnny’s side.

“You think we should go? The bag of coins is enough to last for a week, at least. No more stale breads and contaminated water.” Johnny whispered and eyed the still bickering pair.

Kai grunted and kicked Devon’s shin, making the latter glare at him as Alistair continued to curse at them. “You can feel me up, geezers and see if I have anything up my sleeve aside from my sweaty pits you can smell instead, if you want a challenge.” The people are getting louder as carriages as grand as royal parties with diamonds and shimmering lights arrive to send off their Lords who will be travelling to the neighboring country.

Alistair scoffed and mumbled something under his breath, probably another insult thrown at Kai’s way before they all resume the game. The old men clearly didn’t know what they’re doing, as Kai proposed a game only the lowest of lows could play.

Soon, cards were laid on the table and a few passes were spoken. Johnny’s already smirking at the side before Kai slammed his last card, a four of hearts. The old men gawked at him and Alistair’s face is blooming in angry red, and Kai’s reminded of the rotten tomato he stole from a stall so they could make some sauce for their dinner.

“I guess we’re going home with a week’s wealth, gentlemen?” His face is smug and Devon held Alistair down as the other was about to throw a loser’s punch. In the background, there’s someone yelling, calling for the last minute passengers before they cut the ropes holding the ship immobile.

“The thing is, we’ve got no bags left. But we got something else to give you, something much better, in my opinion.” Kai raised a curious brow and leaned in as Devon held out two tickets.

“Devon, you piece of shit! Not those tickets!” Before they could change their mind, Kai snatched the small pieces of papers and cried for Johnny to run with him.

The crowd is thick of women in lace dresses and men in expensive tailored suits, of children crying joy and sorrow as their parents waved them goodbye from the top and down to the bottom decks.

They weaved through the elites who, in that moment didn’t mind the poorly dressed boys with a sack of their two or three clothes. Kai yelled for the officer in charge of passengers while waving the tickets and they were directed to an entrance just as the ropes were cut and the cries of family members left outside grew louder, only turning soft once the doors closed with the ship’s engine roaring to life, ripping through the calm current of the sea.

 

 

 

 

“I can’t believe it! What kind of fortune!” Johnny threw his bag on the top bunk as soon as they reached their destined room. Kai has an undeniable grin on his face and sat on the bottom bunk, bag on his lap as he tried to catch his breath.

“Don’t ask me that, I have no idea as well. But we’re reaching another country in a few days. Holy shit, Johnny. This is the first time we’re stepping out of this hellhole…” Kai stood in front of the window and looked up, eyeing the wide sky before looking down the clear water.

“We’re on the bottom deck but that’s fine, right? We shouldn’t even be here in the first place. We deserve this, Johnny. We deserve to experience this.”

 

 

 

 

The servants went around fixing life-sized paintings hanging on the walls, alabaster vases that were as shiny as a mirror and Sehun found himself staring at his own reflection while his mother gushed about the luxury they stood on, the carpeted floor with a color of crimson blood. It irked him to no end.

“The dinner will start in an hour. Will you please change into something presentable, dear? Our friends are joining us at the same table. You know how Mrs. Stapleton always eyes my dress and makes comments no one ever asked.”

Sehun rolled his eyes and faced his mother. “She makes comments about yours, not mine. I think this suit is perfectly fine for dinner. We’ll just eat and talk, not model for a show.”

His mother waved dismissively and reminded him once again to change so that he wouldn’t embarrass her, but Sehun’s ears are already clogged with all the nonsense she had spoken about for the past seventeen years of his life. She finally left him alone and for the first time since they boarded the ship, Sehun could breathe and forget that he belongs in a wealthy family that only knew how to show off and scold him for acting poorly.

 

 

 

 

The dinner was nothing but a feast. The tables were filled with high class recipes and the finest wines. The musicians never stopped playing for them and the couples decided to dance in the middle while the others gossiped about this and that.

Sehun sighs and looks around the room. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for but he’s bored to death, he found no one close to his age that he could probably spend time with while his mother brags about her gold anklet with small diamond stones adorning the jewelry. Mrs. Stapleton fakes a smile and when his mother turns to another friend, the lady scoffs and gulps down a glass of white wine.

It’s getting harder to breathe in a room full of masks and talks of politics and when Sehun found the chance to go, he took it.

The upper deck is almost empty, almost clear of anyone except for a couple at the side seemingly arguing judging by the lady’s flailing. Sehun approaches the railing at the front and bravely looks down, feeling his legs buckle. He doesn’t know if he’s afraid of heights or the ocean.

For a moment he wonders how it would feel to jump, to hit the strong current. Would the ship hit him and kill him in an instant? Would he drown slowly? Would he survive? He thought about his family back there and his everyday living. Dying in the middle of nowhere doesn’t sound too bad at the moment.

He licked his lip and gripped the metal rail. Once they reach their destination, he would run away and never come back. He wants to know the true meaning of life, to struggle and be able to gain what he worked so hard for. Waking up on the softest bed with breakfast already served is what everyone wants, but it doesn’t make him feel alive. Sehun wants to be able to breathe in a place without anyone telling him what to do, without anyone tailing him because they’re scared that he might get hurt. He isn’t a child anymore, and hurting will only make him stronger. He knows what he wants and that is to live.

“It’s cold out here; do you really want to get sick?” Sehun turns around to look for the source of the voice and he saw two boys at the opposite side. They don’t look like they belong in his social standing with how they’re dressed so poorly.

“If getting sick is the consequence of enjoying this once in a lifetime luck, then I’m proud to offer myself to my deathbed.” There’s an obnoxious laughter, so loud and lacking of class but for some reason, it sounded appealing to Sehun.

He didn’t know he was already staring and it was too late to turn around. The boy who spoke first noticed him and pointed him to his companion. Sehun gulped, watching them walk to his direction. They certainly don’t look presentable and deserving to be passengers of the cruise ship. What if they ambush him? He doesn’t have anything of high value with him right now aside from his clothes to spare him. My god, they wouldn’t leave him naked here after they steal his clothes and shoes now, would they?

“Good evening…?” Sehun’s eyes maintained downcast, afraid of the pair’s intentions. He didn’t mean to judge based on their appearance, but sometimes rumors are true.

“Hey now, don’t look so scared. We just want to greet you. Good evening to you too.” The boy introduced himself as Johnny and without looking up, Sehun shook hands with him.

“This one is Kai. What’s your name?” Sehun mumbled, not really having the courage to speak to strangers.

“That’s fucking rude, you know. Look in the eyes when someone talks to you. Or did your mother forget to tell you when you were too busy hiding under her skirt while she enjoys a tea party with her friends?” The one who must be Kai spoke and Sehun glared at him. The tanned boy is good looking, no doubt but Sehun doesn’t like the sharpness of his tongue. His heart beats a little faster nonetheless.

“Don’t speak ill of me or my mother, peasant. I should call the police and have you thrown behind bars for speaking to me. How did you even get here? Did you steal tickets? Is that why some were crying because they couldn’t get in here?”

It was Kai’s turn to glare and Sehun noticed his hand balled up, ready to punch him. The one whose name is Johnny stood in between and laughed, trying to ease the tension.

“Alright, no one came here to fight. I’m sorry, Sehun. My friend here is a little tired, might be seasick? It’s our first time boarding a ship. And for your information, we won the tickets.” Johnny forced a chuckle, gripping Kai’s arm as if to stop him from doing something.

If that was true, if they really won the tickets then Sehun is feeling very guilty right now. Again, he didn’t mean to judge. He internally blames his upbringing.

“It’s cold, Sehun. Why are you alone?” Kai is still glaring but at least he isn’t looking at Sehun anymore.

“Uh, I don’t really enjoy parties. My mother forced me out of my room to join her, but it was so boring. There were barely kids of my age.” Now that he’s thought about it, are Johnny and Kai the same age as him?

“Boring? Are rich dinners that lifeless? We actually went up here because we were afraid we’d get too drunk under. Not that we actually drank alcohol. It was just really fun in there that we had to get some fresh air or we’d lose it.”

Sehun looked at the water once again. Fun? How does it feel like?

Johnny nudged Kai and said something about going back to their room. Kai shrugged him off and stayed while the other, true to his words, walked away to go back and take a nap. It was really getting cold now.

No one was talking and it felt so awkward. Sehun didn’t want to be the one to go and show Kai that he’s uncomfortable. Besides, Kai doesn’t have the right to be on the upper deck anyway.

Just as he was about to open his mouth and say something that will anger Kai again, the other beat him to it.

“Do you want to go with me?” Sehun’s eyes widened. Did he hear it correctly? Did Kai invite him to go with him? But where?

“You said dinner was boring. I assume you haven’t eaten properly. Do you want to come with me? Our kind of dinner isn’t as luxurious as yours but I guarantee you that it’s better.”

Kai is looking at him expectantly and any trace of anger is gone. It’s like Sehun didn’t insult him a few minutes earlier.

Sehun knows better than to mingle with strangers and spend time with them though right now, all he can think of is the true meaning of life, and maybe Kai can show him that. A little bit of recklessness won’t hurt him, right? His mother won’t find out if no one tells her, right?

With a heavy exhale Sehun nods, and ignores the tingling on his skin when Kai took his hand and led him to where the low class dines.

 

 

 

 

To say that it was odd was an understatement. The people didn’t just eat but they sang and danced as well. On top of the tables at that! Some were playing instruments and the others sang as loud as they could like there was no tomorrow. The men cheered and gulped mugs of beer while the women clung and caressed. Those that danced on the tables didn’t mind the plates and utensils they might be knocking off. No one minded anyone’s business. The food didn’t taste as good as the elites’ but Sehun felt full. Full from odd happiness.

For the whole time Kai sat next to him, only leaving to refill their plates. He was different from how he acted earlier. The sharpness of his tongue remained the same as he joked with the people of his status, yet his actions seemed gentler. Maybe because Sehun was there. No one really questioned why someone of his class is sitting with them but they gladly welcomed him and offered him food and beer. Sehun doesn’t drink so he refuses.

“Sehun, do you want to dance?” Kai leaned closer, shouting. It was too loud inside and Sehun found it hard to catch what the other was saying.

“I asked you if you want to dance!” Kai repeated and without waiting for the other to respond, he took Sehun’s hand and hoisted him on top of the table. Sehun gawked, unprepared of what’s happening.

“Kai, I can’t dance! I don’t dance!” He looked around and everyone’s too busy partying. He shouldn’t be feeling embarrassed but even with the higher class, he rarely participated when it comes to dancing.

Kai only grinned at him and made Sehun wrap his arms around Kai’s neck, with Kai’s hands on Sehun’s waist. It was blinding, Kai’s smile was blinding. Sehun felt electrified once again when Kai touched him. He doesn’t know if he should pull away because the touch doesn’t really bother him and that fact excites him a little.

So Sehun forgets about everyone and their status. He forgets his mother and the possibility that she’s looking for him and dances, moves silly in Kai’s arms. The laughter that comes out of his mouth surprises him because for the first time, he can finally say he’s having fun and he’s enjoying himself. He gets drowned in the loud music, gets drowned in the way they turn around and press against each other, gets drowned in the heat of Kai’s body, and gets drowned in the sound of his laughter.

He doesn’t know when the music changed and he just found himself hiding his face on Kai’s neck, slowly swaying their bodies from side to side. Sehun knows he isn’t drunk, he’s as sober as the sun rising to wake its people but he really doesn’t mind getting this close with a stranger. Kai doesn’t make him feel stranger. For some reason, he makes Sehun feel like home.

 

 

 

 

Sehun is ethereal with his pale skin and smooth hands, pink lips and gentle gaze. The moment Kai laid his eyes on the elite, it felt like the wind stopped blowing, and air was knocked out his lungs. As silly as it is, Kai pictured a land of sunflowers and the greenest grass, something that he has never seen before. Sehun is more beautiful than his mother, Kai admits, and for his whole life Kai only considered his own mother as the most beautiful in their country.

He went straight to their room after seeing Sehun off. Sehun didn’t want him to go, saying that his mother would most likely have Kai arrested. Kai didn’t question for he knows what the elites are able to do. With a slightly heavy heart he bid Sehun good bye, not really making a promise that they would see each other again. Perhaps never, for they are too different from each other. Hoping to be friends is as impossible as trying to reach the sky by hand.

Kai drifted off to sleep with hopes and dreams of reaching their destination and make a brighter future for himself, and as funny as it seems, he sees Sehun there with the prettiest smile only directed to him.

 

 

 

 

Kai didn’t see Sehun for the next two days. No traces of him even when he climbed up to the upper deck, hoping to catch a glimpse of the boy. He shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t be looking for someone unreachable, someone who doesn’t want to be found. At some point he was almost caught – those with bottom deck tickets can’t visit the upper decks and Johnny slapped the back of his head.

“We can’t afford to be thrown out, you mutt! We’re in the middle of the ocean and they won’t hesitate to toss us to the beasts.”

He’s aware of it but still, he really wants to see Sehun and spend time with him again. He isn’t exactly sure what he might be feeling, but Kai is certain only Sehun makes him feel this way. Sehun is the only reason why he wants to risk getting caught and be fed to the sharks.

 

 

 

 

“Where are you going? It’s almost midnight.” Johnny watched his friend walk around the small space of their room and gather a few things.

“Somewhere. Don’t try to stop me, I won’t stay. Just continue sleeping and we can talk tomorrow.” It’s vague but Johnny understood and with a deep sigh he pulls the thin blanket up his chest and faces the wall.

“Be careful, Kai. I can get you out of trouble but not from the hell you’re putting yourself in.”

 

 

 

 

Kai doesn’t know what to draw. Everything around him doesn’t make him feel the adrenaline, that feeling of rush to sketch something that catches his attention, something that will make him remember. At this dead time of the night, there are only ice bergs to entertain him.

“Kai?”

He jerks up and turns around only to see Sehun dressed in a long coat and thick scarf.  Kai remains rooted on his spot with a look of disbelief written on his face. Sehun is there, Sehun is standing before him looking like a lost child. He wastes no time and drags Sehun to sit next to him, immediately wrapping him in a tight hug.

“Sehun, I didn’t see you for days! Where have you been?” Sehun can’t possibly go anywhere but only the upper class are allowed in so many parts of the ship while Kai’s movements are limited.

He missed Sehun so much.

Sehun hugged Kai just as tight and pulled away to cup the other’s cheeks and caress the cold skin with the pad of his thumb.

“Mother didn’t let me go outside when I escaped dinner that night. I missed you. I know we just met but I missed you. It’s not every day I make friends, Kai.” Sehun smiled yet Kai felt like his heart broke in two. What was he expecting? For his love at first sight be returned? Ridiculous.

He pulled away and picked up the pencil. “I can’t sleep and figured no one would be up to catch me here. If anyone does, just tell them we’re friends. I dressed a little nicely tonight.”

Sehun gave him a once over and giggled. “Where did you get the clothes? Did you steal them?” There’s a hint of mischief in Sehun’s voice and Kai grinned, confirming.

“You’re unbelievable. I pray for your sins to be forgiven.”

For a little while they just sat next to each other and only the sound of waves saved them from the deafening silence.

“What are you drawing?” Sehun tried to take a peek but Kai hurriedly covered the paper.

“You.”

Sehun raised a brow and felt his cheeks turn warm despite the chilly air. “Me? You’re drawing me yet you aren’t looking at me.”

Kai sighed and continued to sketch. “I can draw you from memories.” _Little bit of memories that we shared and you already held my heart in your hands, Sehun._

“That’s absurd. If you want to draw me, ask me to pose for you.” Kai’s hand stopped moving and he looked at Sehun with curiosity. “I’d love to be your muse, Kai.”

 

 

 

 

The room is well-lit, and the chandelier is big enough to illuminate the whole deck. The room is spacious enough to let two families in, yet only Sehun stays there while his mother is in a different room. There’s so much furniture adorning the room and they must cost millions, Kai thought.

He looks at the paintings hanging on the wall and reaches out to touch one but he stops himself before he could do it. The painting probably costs more than his life and he can’t afford to taint it with poverty stuck on his palms.

He sits down and watches Sehun strip, eyes not leaving every inch of skin displayed for him. There should be no malice, Sehun knows what he’s doing, he’s probably done this before and they should be professional yet Kai is failing to be, gaze raking down the smooth expanse of naked skin.

Sehun lies down the sofa on his side, facing Kai. Without further ado Kai begins to sketch, glancing every now and then at his muse to get the right angle and avoid messing up the strokes of his pencil.

His gaze falls on Sehun’s cock and he can’t help but stare it for longer than necessary, gulping as he gets filthy pictures in his head of them together doing unspeakable things.

“What are you looking at?” Kai coughed and looked down, avoiding Sehun’s gaze. His cheeks are heating up and he knows he looks stupid, getting caught ogling his _friend._

“I don’t mind you looking elsewhere, Kai. But finish the sketch, please. I’d love to see the outcome.” There’s a sweet smile on Sehun’s lips and Kai hopes that it was a clear confirmation that he can do it again, and that Sehun actually enjoys the attention.

 

 

 

 

Sehun is now dressed again and scrutinizing the sketch as his eyes squint, hands gripping the edges of the paper. Kai has always been confident in his talent but right now, his heart is beating rapidly because suddenly, the other’s opinions matter. Sehun has exquisite taste, anyway.

“It’s gorgeous, Kai. You made me look beautiful.” Sehun praised. _You’re already beautiful._

“I can keep it, right?” Kai nodded and watched Sehun put the drawing in a safe. He eyes the boy’s backside, noticing how round and plump it looks.

“May I have my payment now?” Kai asked and Sehun looked at him knowingly before he gets a lap full of the other, and lips covered with another pair.

Sehun’s lips are soft and they taste like honey, sweet and addicting. Kai’s hands gripped the other boy’s waist before moving south to grope the healthy pair of ass cheeks.

They kiss for what seemed like forever and when Sehun pulled away to fill his lungs with air, Kai mouthed his neck, biting and kissing every spot he could reach. Sehun releases a shaky breath.

“When did you learn doing such things.” The elite boy cranes his neck so Kai could kiss more of his skin.

“I’ve watched.” There’s a chuckle resounding through the room and Sehun grinds down, effectively drawing a moan out of Kai.

“Can you show me what you’ve learned?”

 

 

 

 

“What is that on your neck, Sehun? And you walk funny.” Sehun cupped the side of his neck and forces a dry chuckle.

“Uh, probably an insect bite, mother. Don’t worry about it.” He sits down, joining his mother and her friends for breakfast. His mother takes a sip of her tea and smiled at Mrs. Stapleton before mumbling under her breath, soft yet loud enough for Sehun to hear.

“You’ve been hanging out with that low class boy. Don’t think I don’t have eyes everywhere you go, my son.” The lady cleared her throat and chatted with Mrs. Stapleton. Sehun felt like a bucket of ice was poured over his head and he tried hard to stop his hands from trembling. It must be obvious for his mother leaned in and whispered with such venom in her voice.

“A pest shall be killed, my son. Our people do not stand in the same ground with the lowest, and whoever taints us has to go. This shall be a new lesson for you.”

 

 

 

 

He doesn’t see Kai for the whole day. They didn’t make a promise to see each other but it’s an unspoken agreement that they have to meet again, that they _need_ to meet again especially after that intimate night they shared. Sehun knows Kai will do anything to see him and he’s really happy to know that he’s someone special and dear to the other but right now, he fears for Kai more. He can’t let his mother or anyone of them treat Kai like some pest like his mother called him. Kai is poor, he lacks education and money but he’s so much more than a pest trying to ruin the reputation of a royalty. Sehun is no royalty, he was just born with an advantage, and that advantage now serves as a torture for him. He just met Kai, but his emotions are undeniable and he will do anything to be with the other. Must he turn his back against his family and the whole nation, Sehun will do it.

Another feast is being held for the last night of their journey. It is said that they will reach their destination tomorrow; the latest would be in the afternoon. Sehun was forced by his mother once again to get out of his room and join her. It will always be fruitless to bring him in such events, his mother always tries to get him to date a beautiful lady and arrange a marriage despite knowing that her son will never be interested. Sehun tries his best to show indifference but his mother, _the devil_ is working harder tonight for she made sure a girl dressed so grand stuck to him like glue.

Sehun tolerated the girl clinging to his arm; she doesn’t seem that insufferable anyway though wherever he goes, she refuses to pull away.

He still doesn’t hear from Kai until now. He found Johnny earlier on the middle class’s deck, talking with a group of lads. Sehun asked about Kai but Johnny gave him an unreadable look.

“Kai hasn’t come back since that night I assumed he spent with you.”

Sehun is scared. He doesn’t want to think about it but his mother had been too joyful today, she didn’t even talk behind Mrs. Stapleton’s back and gossiped about other women. He really wants to look for Kai but it’s so hard with Wendy hugging his arm.

He was about to forcefully take his arm out of her hold when the room violently shook and everyone screamed. The music stopped playing as people tried to look for a spot they deemed themselves safe to be in. The chandeliers swayed and broken shards of glasses scattered on the carpeted floor.

“Ladies and gentlemen! May I have your attention for a while! There’s a small problem that we have encountered and we suggest you avoid submitting to panic, there will be attendants that you can approach to assist you back to your rooms. Do not panic, we will resume the feast in a short while. Good evening!”

Sehun looked around and found his mother crouching, covering her head. He didn’t waste a second and ran away, determined to look for Kai and praying silently that he’s unharmed.

Sehun tries his best to look everywhere, even pushing past the guards by the lower deck. He finds Johnny but fails to see Kai again.

“Sehun! Sehun! Kai is missing, I’ve asked everyone in this deck and a few from the middle, but no one seemed to have seen him around.” There’s a look of panic in Johnny’s eyes and that’s when Sehun knows something’s wrong. He asked Johnny to try and ask again while he runs back upstairs until he reaches the upper deck and what welcomed him is a sight he wishes he’s never seen.

Everyone is in chaos, there’s so much noise as people shouted at each other and Sehun fails to understand a thing, there’s so much technical term and he noticed that the ship isn’t moving. An officer pushed at him, trying to get him back in his room but Sehun fought and ran to the railing, looking down. He inhales sharply when he sees water rapidly moving inside the crack on the side of the ship. It’s starting to fill the bottom decks.

“Oh my god.” Sehun’s legs wobbled but he forces himself upright and ran around, calling out Kai’s name. People started to gather on the upper deck after the news broke out.

It was chaotic; people pushed and some were ran over as the elites tried to get the life vests. His mother is nowhere to be found and Sehun can’t find it in himself to care for he still hasn’t found Kai, there’s still no trace of him even when the lower class were given permission to reach the upper decks to save themselves.

“Kai.. god, Kai, where are you?” Sehun’s trembling in both cold and fear. The ship’s starting to sink from the front and the lights began to flicker with some hallways now pitch black. He gathers what little bravery he has left and takes the stairs down; walking in the cold water that now reached his waist.

There’s no one left in this floor, and as much as Sehun wants to go back, he doesn’t want to leave Kai, to throw away the chance to see him. Tears started to cloud his vision and Sehun’s sobbing uncontrollably now, crying out his lover’s name.

“Kai! Kai, it’s Sehun! Kai, where are you?!”

“S-sehun?! Sehun?!” Sehun whips his head around as he hears a faint call of his name.

“Kai!”

He walks faster, a little too difficult with how strong the water flows inside. He pushes the doors open one by one and cries out when he finds Kai inside one of the rooms, tied to a pole.

“Sehun!” Kai has tears running down his face and if they were in a different situation, Sehun would have found it funny and laugh at him.

“Kai, what happened to you?!” Sehun looks around, trying to find something that will untie Kai from the pole.

“They knew what we did, Sehun. I didn’t lie to them but I asked them not to hurt you in exchange of locking me up. What happened? Why is there water in here?”

Sehun finds a scissor and walked back to Kai’s side and starts cutting through the rope.

“The ship is sinking. We have to go, we can’t die here.” Kai didn’t speak for a few seconds after that but when he did, Sehun almost wanted to hit him.

“You can’t live without me, can you.” The rope gave up and Kai grinned after being set free. Sehun grabbed his hand and tugged, glaring.

“We’re about to die and you’re still being like this. Come on!”

 

 

 

 

They reached the upper deck and it’s crowded with everyone trying to get in the boats. They let the women and children first, status disregarded. Someone handed Sehun a life vest and when Kai asked for one, he only received a scowl.

They watched everyone from the side, and Sehun wants to cry in fear once again. He still wants to live longer. He still wants to spend years with Kai. The other must have noticed it and caressed his cheek.

“I’ll be fine, Sehun. I can swim.” Kai sent him a smile and Sehun only cried harder.

“Idiot, you’ll die from hypothermia.”

Kai chuckled before giving Sehun a kiss on the cheek. “I won’t die as long as I have you.”

There are more screams and Sehun was ripped away from Kai as his mother turned him around, gripping his arms.

“You ungrateful child!” She was seething in anger and suddenly there’s a man grabbing him, pulling him to the side to get on the boat.

“Mother- mother! No! I won’t leave! Let me go!” Sehun thrashed around, wanting to get away from the iron grip the man has on his arms. He watches Kai with a tearful gaze, as the other was dragged away as well.

His mother didn’t listen and made sure Sehun won’t escape until they’re settled in the boat. It was too late for Sehun to jump off when the ropes were sliced and the boat settled on the water. He continued to scream and cry, calling out for Kai but no one helped, no one listened. The boat sailed away and he could only watch as the ship sank even deeper until they’re far away, far enough for him to only hear the softest cries and wails of the people who were failed, the passengers who didn’t get saved and drowned together with the future they carried in that ship.

 

 

 

 

A week has passed. A week of misery and agony. Sehun didn’t get a wink of sleep no matter how hard he tried to succumb to slumber. He wishes to sleep and never wake up. He found his reason to live and lost it just like that. He didn’t come out of his room, refusing to see his mother. He’s surprised he doesn’t hate her, but he feels empty. There’s a hole in his chest that will never be filled. He misses Kai. He misses Kai so much that it hurts every time he thinks of the sun-kissed boy, it hurts every time he remembers the kisses and touch they shared. It hurts thinking that they will never meet again, and he doesn’t even have a single photo of him. There’s so much regret but meeting Kai will never be. He’s the best thing that ever happened to Sehun.

He reaches for the daily newspaper and reads the new list of names of the deceased passengers. He feels tears well up in his eyes as he reads _Johnny Seo,_ and scanned further for a particular name. Again, he fails to find Kai.

“Sehun, I’m going to the pier to pay respect for our friends that…passed away. Do you want to come with me?”

To be with his mother is the last thing he wanted to do but he also needs to say good bye to the people that cared for him at one point in his life.

“Wait for me.”

 

 

 

 

The ocean is as vast as he remembers. It’s not like he knows how wide it is, but he doesn’t forget the feeling of euphoria when he looked at it when he first visited the upper deck.

The wind is strong that some petals were torn away from the flowers he’s holding. He wonders where Kai must be under water.

Some families are also present at the pier to pay respect. Some are crying, as well as his mother but Sehun is too tired, exhausted from the pain he’s been dealing with for the past week.

His mother excuses herself and goes back to the carriage. Sehun stays, recites one last prayer and leaves the flowers on the ground.

“Hey, Johnny. I miss you, I hope you’re having fun wherever you are.”

Sehun stills, feeling his whole body freeze. It’s been a week but he will never forget how that voice sounds like. He will never forget the owner of the voice he so much wishes to see once again.

He’s scared; he doesn’t want to give himself false hopes. Is he dreaming? Is he losing his sanity? Is he hearing thi-

“Sehun…? Sehun, is that you?”

Sehun chokes on his own tears as he turns around and finds Kai staring at him with disbelief in his eyes. No one moved, no one spoke. Sehun only cried and cried as he looks at the love of his life, present and breathing in front of him.

It was Kai who ran and hugged him so tight it almost stole the oxygen in him. Sehun locked his arms around the other, sobbing on his shoulder.

“Sehun, you’re safe, you’re alive. God, I was looking for you!”

Sehun took his time to calm down and stop himself from crying. When the tears were wiped away by Kai, Sehun pulled away and held Kai’s face in his hands.

“I thought you were dead. I thought I wouldn’t see you again, I missed you so much, Kai. I almost died without you.”

“I got in a different boat, Sehun. I begged them to let me in. It was the last one. I only had you in mind to survive, Sehun.”

Sehun hugged him again as tears threatened to spill once more. He caught sight of his mother who remained where she stood watching them. There’s a faint, sad smile on her lips as Sehun planted a kiss on Kai’s cheek.

“Come home with me, Kai. Don’t leave me again.”

The sun-kissed boy nods and covered Sehun’s lips with his own in a gentle kiss, a promise finally made between the two of them.

“I won’t leave, Sehun. I love you.”


End file.
